Being Sick in a New Place

I've reached a milestone this week: my first bad day in Amsterdam! It was no one's fault, and once again in the grand scheme will be nothing but a blip of memory. But yesterday was the first day of orientation for my studies, and the night before I feel ill. I have something of a chest and head cold, I think, but Monday night into Tuesday, I awakened several times with a very sore throat. My head was stuffy, and no matter how much water I drank, I felt hot and uncomfortable. I slept as much as I could, however, and Tuesday morning blearily got myself out of bed and accepted this was no allergy or other issue, but a true cold.

Just before I left the States, my language studies were focusing on how to navigate doctors' offices and pharmacies, describe pain, and read Dutch medicine labels. Unfortunately, in my state of misery, I remembered 0.0% of those lessons except that "pain" is "pijn." Couldn't remember the word for fever, or throat, or even head - the words in German and Japanese unhelpfully made themselves known, but those were not exactly useful for describing my issues in Dutch.

After confirming the closest convenience store didn't have any over the counter meds, I searched up the closest pharmacy to my apartment - a half mile walk - and set out with little preparation in my muddled state. The SIM card I ordered last week never arrived, and though I've reached out twice to the company asking for an order status, they haven't responded. So I was out and about without translation capability nor mapping capability*. Also, I left my Dutch studies notebook in the US like a dingus, so didn't even have the lovely diagrams I drew for myself naming all the body parts for reference. Alas.

I made it to the pharmacy ok, though thoroughly winded and a little dizzy, and through squinting at labels and the images thereon - as well as finding a few items whose chemical names I recognized - I succeeded in walking out with a box of masks, some cough syrup, ibuprofen, and a TUMS equivalent. I figured I might as well stock up ahead of time for anything else that might creep up on me - or my roommate - while I was there. I took some of the meds standing there on the sidewalk, and thankfully had the good sense this time to find bus I knew would take me back to the station near our apartment. From that station, I hopped immediately on a train to the Central Station, and from there a bus that would take me to the general area of orientation.

I found the building I needed pretty quickly, but was still an hour and a half late, and no one seemed to know what to do with me. Instead of hovering awkwardly, I left with the intention of returning for the next block of activities, which didn't start until mid-afternoon. I had two hours to kill downtown, feeling miserable and unable to really walk or tour around, but the transit back the the apartment was about an hour one way, which meant I'd only have time to make it back to my room and then turn around and return to orientation. Quite pointless. I wandered the area slowly for a while until my body made it quite clear I needed to rest, and then found a restaurant with outdoor seating. I didn't want to wander through stores in tight quarters knowing I was sick, even with the addition of a mask, if I could avoid it. Blessedly, the restaurant offered ginger shots, which are exactly what they sound like: pureed ginger root as a shot, and a fresh apple slice as a chaser. One of those cleared my sinuses immediately and generally cast the day in a much better light. I had lunch alongside one of the canals, people watching and making use of the restaurant's WiFi. By the time it was time to leave, the meds had also certainly kicked in - and I wasn't in the frantic and confused state of mind I had been, rushing to try and make it in time.

The mandatory block of orientation finally came, and I was able to get through it, sitting in a lecture hall in an isolated corner, taking notes on the structure of the program, the contact details, the books, the grading system, the expectations of the university, the professors, and the governing bodies, etc. There was a small meet and greet afterward where I was introduced to my program's professors and was able to apologize for missing the first half of the day.

Afterward, feeling miserable once again after many hours of lectures and social activity, I stumbled back to a bus, to the train, to the apartment and collapsed in my chair. I took a fever reducer again just in case, had a little dinner, and went to bed not long after.

Being sick in an unfamiliar place and having to navigate finding help is hard. Coming home to a new place to be sick is hard. Not having my cats to curl up on me while I dramatically languish in bed is hard. And, especially, not having my partner there to kiss my head, take my temperature, and make me soup while I'm feeling ill is hard. It's a lonely experience. My experience finding a pharmacy and the right meds was a struggle, mainly because I wasn't in a clear state of mind. Had I been, I would have just asked for help in English. Or Dutch, even: I know how to do that, and you can get a long way just pointing at body parts and grimacing.

When I did return home last night, I bumped into my roommate, which was welcome both in that he was a familiar face after a day of strangers, and because he gave me some perspective I needed. He has also been struggling health-wise, but with more of a stomach than a chest thing, and its been persistent enough that he had to navigate insurance and hospitals here, less than a month since arriving on the ground. He was fairly upbeat about it, despite it sounding like an utter nightmare afternoon of calling places only to be directed to call elsewhere, and the fact the hospital he could make an appointment with is like a half hour bike from here. But there is some sort of camaraderie between us now, each knowing the other is also somewhat physically miserable in a new and unfamiliar place. That makes is a little less lonesome.

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Other than yesterday, this past week went by in a flash. I received my BSN number, meaning once it activates, I'll be able to finally open a bank account and very quickly check off all the things that need to be done, including getting a more permanent SIM, a bike, and a transit card. I attended a group art session at a cafe over the weekend, and met about a dozen other folks with interest in drawing, and was able to relax in an artsy and queer-friendly space.

I reached out to the nearest SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) groups here to ask about upcoming events I might attend - I was active back home, and would like to integrate into the Society folks out here, too. There's a bow I've been eyeing for months that I'm hoping to buy once my finances stabilize.

Overall, there are plenty of positives in both past and future. For now, being sick casts a negative light on everything, but in a few days' time, once I'm feeling better again, I'll once again be ready to tackle the world.

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Thank you all for reading! Sorry these last two posts have been kind of bummers compared to the first few. I'm sure there will be periods of ups and of downs throughout my time here, but hopefully more ups than downs! I certainly wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything, regardless of the challenges I might face. I hope that by sharing some of my struggles, this blog remains a true representation of my journey. And I hope you all don't mind reading about them!

As an end note, I've added a "Support" page to the site in response to folks asking if there's anything I need for my stay here. The ko-fi is still up to take donations for anyone who wants to send money my way, but there is also a list of physical items that I'm saving up to purchase for myself that can be gifted if you so desire.

As always, your eyeballs here and your positive vibes are support enough for me ❤︎ Thank you again for reading, and I'll see you next Wednesday!

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*For those curious, yes! I use a downloaded map that runs off of OpenStreetMap data. It's incredibly useful for navigating the city, but it does not feature any transit lines, so although I can always walk myself where I need to go, I don't have access to locations or times of any of the buses, trams, or trains unless connected to the internet.

A sketch of the city skyline in gray-scale, using alcohol-based markers

A photo of a very long boat and a few buildings in the distance, reminiscent in shape of the city

A photo taken from the streets of the city, of the buildings and sky

Another city shot, this time with car lane, tram lane, bike lane, and sidewalk

A line on paperwork, reading "Nationality Amerikaans burger"

A shot of the woods, trees and greenery along a dirt path

Another woods shot, but with a wooden pedestrian bridge over water

A bridge over water in the distance, surrounded by forest

A black and white drawing of the former scene, the bridge being the center piece on the page

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If you'd like to buy me a ko-fi, check out this link: https://ko-fi.com/woodsyl